Yesterday and today during sleep I had stimulation of abusing sex
and very strong programming.
The stress causes me to be down the whole day. I would prefer just
 to do not much. Even walking becomes easily stress. Yesterday
I had programming to a gay. Today it was programming to like
Malays. Yesterday I was weak some hours, today the whole day.
Well, I don't like Malays that much which people may have noticed
the last days. though I like everywhere some people around.
Muslim is not my stuff and I am not interested to get closer.
And this terror,  to program me to like Malays does not contribute
to better feel feelings towards them, I am pissed
off by this.
But I do not know who did this terror to me and so I do not know
where to direct my anger to.