Today I heard voices that I should read about thought reform. This is a topic which matches. Such I also looked up at the very beginning being in MC.
Voices said I could now get out of this I had to do with. It would be possible now.
It was for me not possible for many years. I could not get my\head round to write police reports about what I had to do with. I just could not. It was also that speaking about it was difficult.
I was not believed at the police and the peiple which produced
hopelessness for me. Though I could have done more against this but I did not.
This was weak and prolonged my suffering unnecessarily.
On the other hand I had that much pain, stress, manipulation
from harassers that I will not blame myself too much.
I hope I can get out of this the next time.
I do not believe easily such voices which also have said a lot of
nonsense up to now.. The last days I hear in the morning a longer
talk. Such was not always usual. For some time I heard such a talk in the morning with something which made me think from
the very beginning that they are fucking democrats doing it during the day. in this or that way trying to make me their own. That is what they call democrazy Fuck you democrats. Fuck you democrats.At least you do no more pretend to be democrats. To use modern technology to try to enslave people shows the democrats should label themselves as terrorist organisation.
I say to try to enslave people. I had it some time ago I noticed the control in my mind was with the democrats. I did no nore have
the control with myself in my mind. Any emotional reaction on impressions was judged no more with me so decisions were no more with me.It did not remain like this long
It changed back to me. At least it looks to some degree I have it.
This long talks which I have in my mind most days store informatiom in my head which may be used in the way it was spoken. There is also programming. I once read the newspaper and noticedI have a negative attitude towards Russia, this is new, where is this from. I could locate it and throw it out but not the detail I do no more know now.
Well, the last days I remembered something I could not think of
really for a long time. Doing meditation. I just could not think of
doing it for a very long time. It was not there. So my immune system got weak and weaker. I had also times when I could not think of learning english. I was doing it every day but then a time
came I could not think of learing english, which I had been doing
The lasts time some things go better. The day when Mr Scholz in Germany announced he would apply for the seat of the chairman of the party of the SPD I tried and I could be more active than before. I could not do much before because of blocking control I think for longer time I just was passive and longer time I felt weak due to sickness.
I could for a longer time not manage to write posts in blogger. I was blocked or innerly not strong enough? I noticed not being able to do other things.
My stomach is giving me a little pain. Still a little fortunately.
My heart is worse, weak now