Saturday, May 28, 2016

After the last post some of the manipulation stopped. I could
no more easily lay on the bed and sleep. I started to feel more alive.
I had for some days strong arthritis symptoms but they are much
less now. I do not know why they came and subsided.
I thought I could develop more strength now but today I feel to some
degree stronger than before.
I had strong stimulation of abusing sex but I did not feel
that weak like I often felt before. I was passive, now I must relearn
how to use my time and am still passive. I am to some degree
different also due to manipulation. I did not fit in the complete
idiots mindset (mainstream). So they force you to fit in. I will try
to get back to where I was but also try learning. This was also
difficult the last time. I just too often forgot what I wanted to
learn or did not proceed.
I had several times stimulation of abusing sex
I had most days in the mornings talks in my mind. Just an ongoing
speaking voice which I thought is not my own.
I had also a talk about the troops deployment in eastern Europe.
"In a few years Europe and America could no more fight Russia
or Asia because they are getting stronger" I heard, " we can
beat them now experts think that our weapons are superior, so
we should go now. We believe Russia will give in. If it sends
its nuclear warheads towards Western Europe the West will answer.
Russia has as a main center only Moscow while the West has many.
Russia knows this..." I answered to this that I would not like
the West to control the world.
I am not sure where this is from. I have to observe such more closely.
It may be from me, from a part of mine I have not yet integrated.
That does not mean that I think there is no Mind Control used on me.

Monday, May 16, 2016

The last nights ongoing sexual harassment in sleep.
Now I notice this time sexual harassment is used for programming. It is used to change my inner direction. I have been passive because it is also
programming, I think. And now over sexual harassment I feel it they are
programming me to be more active. This I notice for days now. But in this programming is a direction included, which is not the one I want to go, how I want to be. Manipulation has been more successful with me than programming of affection.
Again and again I wanted to sit down and write for a police report about
this stuff. Again and again I notice some time later I did not do it.
This is an important example  where it is difficult for me to can beat manipulation.
Is it possible to use tabletts or smartphones for programming when they
are switched on.  If yes, with wifi on  or wifi off.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

The lasts night and the night before I had hard sexual harassment
into sleep. The last night my allergies may also have played a
role in this.
This stimulation of sadistic sex is also used to attach affection
to the social democrats which I feel meanwhile. It is not or not yet 
that strong.