Saturday, June 29, 2013

I could not sleep last night. There was fear. I have still pain from the last attacks.
Voices say they will destroy me.  They say in the place where I stay now the harassment would start now.

Friday, June 28, 2013

The last days I did assessment tests in English one at
I got  the result. Level: English proficiency. IELTS 9
 (highest level for general English)

This tests are approximate only but that much below
can my level not be. I know myself that I still have
to learn vocabulary to review grammar and want
more confidence in the language when it gets into
detailed speaking.

I have been learning English for some years every
 day 2 hours. But with decling health and ongoing
 partly severe harassment I lost discipline. I want to
 get it back and go on learning to make real tests.
Language proficiency is a proper level to teach English.
I would need aditional knowledge and skills in teaching
and make a test there to become a certified English
With the ongoing harassment this will be difficult.
So I ask for support against this. I recognize that some
Thais look down on me like to mock me probably
due to my psychological problems, they recognize or
get told by others. The harassment is done by Thais,
who else where I stay and I have noticed Thais having
fun with it. So Thais quiete some Thais get happiness
with making people suffer including from stimulation
of sexual abuse. This seems to be part of Thai culture.
So Primitivity and repulsiveness are stronger than culture
in Thailand up to now in my personal experience.I do
not exactly expect it to change because the next prevealing
features of too many Thais are arrogance, stupidity and
Yet, I would love it when you prove me wrong.

Today I had again stimulation of abusing sex which during the day turned out to be giving me pain and making me partly passive. Voices say they will destroy me. I had it in Malaysia too and harassment which brought me down. Such will possibly happen again.
It comes over any radiation. I do not know how that happens.
I do not know how to go against such terror.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

I had this morning during sleep painful stimulation of abusing sex. I then run in trouble with me during the day.
Thailand will be in my memory for much of such abuse.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

I had in Thailand the last days again stronger stimulation of abusing sex, which gives me trouble during the day.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I had the last days stimulation of abusing sex, which was not that strong.
Today the first time it was stronger. And this was announced yesterday
by voices in my mind.
I have often voices which try to convince, trick and
press me into becoming a social democrat. 

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Yesterday and today I had stronger stimulation of absing sex, which is then stressful and painful during the day.
I have clear now that yesterday was strong programming to a social democrat. Today Ihad stimulation of abusing sex and programming to a gay.

Monday, June 03, 2013

I had no stronger harassment the last days. I have to do with a lot of voices they are   partly inner voices it is also partly difficult to estimate them correctly.

I had once longer time stimulation of abusing sex while awake. It is then that I have trouble
to get away from this stimulation.