Wednesday, November 08, 2017
Tuesday, November 07, 2017
Saturday, October 28, 2017
Tuesday, October 03, 2017
von missbraeuchlischem Sex.
Es ist dabei auch viel Programmierung.
Das ganze ist schmerzhaft, sehr stressig und niederdrueckend.
Manchmal denke ich wegen des jahrelangen sexuellen
Terrors. ich unterstuetze das Ueberleben der
Thursday, September 07, 2017
einer deutschen Bank einzuloggen. Ich machte viele Fehler
Ich taetigte mehrere Anrufe zu meiner Bank. Es ging alles daneben. Das hatte ich noch nie. Ich denke mir das
ich bei meiner Bank ketzt nicht gut dastehe, aber ich brauche
Heute ist es so das Ich eine Email von meiner Bank bekam die meinen Vorschlag bezueglich meines Internetbanking ablehnte.
Spaeter war diese Email geloescht. Ich schrieb der Bank eine Email. Nach dem Versand erschien in rot eine Information das diese Queued ist. Noch nicht ausgeliefert an DKB.
Das ist dann vermutlich google mein Emailbetreiber
Ich habe etwas wichtiges zu erledigen kann aber so nicht nach Kuala Lumpur weil ich wissen muss ob ich ueber meine Bank an Geld komme.
Saturday, August 26, 2017
I did not like to do exercise today, but could still
do slow running. Trying to go faster results
in pain in the knee. I stop then because
going on then has already forced me to
stop for weeks before.
If harassment goes on I may have to stop
exercising because my legs won't go along
with it anymore which I had before repeatedly.
Decline of mental performance will follow.
Friday, August 18, 2017
Friday, August 11, 2017
I had today a lot of stress in sleep and some programming
into my sleep. Partly was this due to allergies but I found
in the morning also a man who moved in a few days ago
doing psychic attacks in front of my room.
I felt sick much of the day and was in bed also much of it.
Thursday, August 10, 2017
find myself longing for such which was before only to a much smaller degree the case after stimulation of such. Is this also the future of technology?
Abusers make targets compliant for rape with Mind control technology.
Maybe the woman even marries her rapist afterwards.
Both she would not have done without the use of such technology
I had about a week already stimulation
of all sorts of abusing sex. Before some time
it was not. Allergies may play a role
Friday, July 14, 2017
Often it was heavy. I was sometimes for hours in bed or
completely down because of this.
I have a lot of voices which I think are not my own.
If the terror should stop I had to do something for them,
I notice something which I estimate as programming
to a social democrat. A lot of negative talk is going on
to get my mind down to make me to accept their rule.
But that may be also from my past
There was also massive reprogramming of SM Sex.
It overwhemes my consciousness when then is any
I can use my mind better for me it is not as good as it
used to be
There are also somethings which I see as manipulation.
I am forgetful. I cannot direct myself as good as
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Afterwards I was annoyed about how things weht.
I lack skills to deal with how the discussion went and
also to express my feelings in time. I started thinking about
how to get off better the next time and had some ideas.
I then heard a voice. "You won't make friends by this". The
voice as my enemy.
I had many times in Malaysia now hard stimulation oft abusing
sex. I am offen finished for the day then and do not do much and
do not like to speak.
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Harassment was repeatedly strong especially the last morning. Voices say they will destroy me now, harassment would remain strong.
Monday, May 08, 2017
Friday, May 05, 2017
Tuesday, May 02, 2017
Moreover I felt mentally free. I had myself the idea to
meditate again. For long time I not even could think of such
while some years ago meditation and learning English
belonged to my daily life.
I had 3 days of harassment starting 4 days ago. Yesterday
it was severe. I felt sick for the whole day and was much in
bed. I have developed fear. I did not have that much some
years ago. I have had alzheimer's symptoms for long time
I do not know in hindsight exactly how many years I
assume at least 2 years. But remembering learning English
and meditating I could not do for longer time.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
At least sometimes. The stimulation of abusing
sex yesterday was gay stimulation. Today I had
stimulation of abusing sex again. It is also
programming of accepting abusing sex.
It affects my eyes heavily. I cannot read some
Monday, April 10, 2017
Sunday, April 09, 2017
Im Nachbarzimmer war eine Person aktive.
Ich bemerkte auch Manipulation am Geist.
Aus dem was ich mitbekam koennte es sein das ein
tragbares Geraet fuer die Schikanen benutzt wurde.
Gestern hatte ich Stimulation von missbraeuchlichem
Sex. Ich denke das dies Menschen in der Naehe waren.
Friday, April 07, 2017
Thursday, April 06, 2017
Wednesday, April 05, 2017
Monday, April 03, 2017
Sunday, April 02, 2017
Yesterday it was announced by voices that I would have
my power back now. At least today it is like this.
Despite the heavy sexual harassment I can go on doing.
My passivity which I had a long time now is not only
my issue, my weakness. I blamed myself put myself down
for being passive but this important external factor I did
not even know.
For years I wanted to put my flat into good order when I
was there. T tried many times to work on it but ended up
doing only a little. I could not do it. voices said they wanted
to put me in a home for disabled. They were against this
purpose and boycotted it.They were able to do this.
The second purpose was to prevent me
from moving to a nice place at the beach.
Influence is partly that strong that I cannot resist.
They mess with my memory intendedly.
I will write a story about this.
A few days I had a talk in my head about western medicine:
The fantastic western high performance western medicine
High performance western medicine? They cannot
even heal a sniff or a cough. At least one of them.
When you look up common diseases you find they can only
relief of symptoms. This is not a high performance medicine
this is rather a scam.
I sent an article to my brother which included treatment options
for cancer prooven helpful but not supported.
It was written that pharmaceutical industry was going for
money and preventing helpful treaments for getting known.
I thought industry alone does not have the power to put such
through. Proper politics a proper working FDA would prevent
such. But the FDA is corrupt for decades and politicians
supporting such. Suspicion fell on my head on Hillary Clinton
who supports GMOs, The weedkiller of monsanto is
I heard Ted Cruz, the candidate who placed second
in the fight to become presidential candidate of the
republicans talking positive about medicine which I see corrupt.
Donald Trump is pro natural medicine! This offers some hope.
I think he has the duty to clear up the mess at the FDA and then
include changes in a reform of health-insurance.
Saturday, April 01, 2017
Today I did not have it but ran into stress through my
allergies.. It started after I did not accept having no
privacy from Thais but this is not necessary the point
why it happened. Some beautiful girls I saw sometimes
looking at me. I related them to MC probably knowing
more about me than they should. Today a girl saw me
then demonstratively turned away. I did not know the girl.
I can[t stand having no privacy. It stops me talking
online about me. I do not like thinking because all is observed
stolen or commented, on messed with.
I feel depressed have no drive to do much.
It has to do that my personality is tried to be
realigned with different values and different
way of doing things.
I have memory problems concentration problems.
I should meditate more.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Insider Reveals How DARPA Will Control Our Minds: "If Even 20% Of This Is True..."
It was like this that Internet connection was
interrupted as I was writing this post and I
could not save the message. So I stored the
message on the computer in the Internet cafe
I was working with told them to leave it
untouched. I went to get an usb stick.
But when I came back and I wanted to start
the screen of the computer the computershut
down. this means in an Internet cafe usually
that everything gets deleted. I thought I try
and tried to switch on the computer again.
But it did no more. I have to assume that in
this cafe people are working against me
supporting the harassment against me.
I had such also in Malaysia.
Thursday, March 23, 2017
and often harassment which was not that
strong. I could be active. Some weeks ago
in Had Yai I had the last time harassment
which kept me in bed for at least a part of the
day. Today sexual harassment was stronger
and I feel pressed down. But I am still active.
When the harassment gets even stronger I
possibly can't remain active.
Through the weaker harassment my mind has
recovered. I see it as the main reason
supplements second. I had for longer time
alzheimer's symptoms like forgetfulness
and also the mind working worse than before.
Friday, March 17, 2017
to a gay. It also included stimulation of abusing sex.
Today I am happy not to have had such.
Last night I had a talk with the voices which I think are
not my own. I said there is a lot of energy lost alone from
stimulation of abusing sex and because of mt head injury.
So it is now and it was sometimes as a teenager that the brain is
working bad. It does not take in and does not process that good.
That has to do with lacking energy for instance due the above
mentioned, But there must be a huge lack to make this happen.
It is a bit like in school after a long day in the last hour I often
was simply tired and could not participate often. This lack of
energy even stronger creates problems. This is intended by the
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Impending Danger: Today’s “Super-Fuzed”, Super-Powerful US Thermonuclear Weapons Directed against Russia. “How is This Going to End?” (Putin)
planet! They are mad with it. They are mad with it!
they will be I do not know. But their huge weapons arsenal is for this
There are other possible upcoming threats like the Chinese one.
It should be addressed separately. Such a forum or else could address
global security problems. It must not be controlled by America.
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
Wednesday, March 08, 2017
Thursday, March 02, 2017
and wake up the same time. I do not know this from
times before. Manipulation I cannot beat easily.
I stay longer in Surat Thani than I wanted.In
Had Yai I had the same. I could not easily meditate
as I did years before. I know I have to do a lot but
I do not organize that. Good to write that maybe I
find now a way to do that.
Wednesday, March 01, 2017
today.I have not had stimulation of abusing sex in sleep
in the night for most of the time in Surat Thani.I don't do
much. I have difficulty to get doing. I lost money recently.
This voices I have and I think are not my own are
bothering. They are conversations with me about stuff now.
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
develop discipline in meditation again first. Voices
are often that disturbing that I turn to them instead
just noting them. My posture is not right. I hope I
get ahead with this seemingly easy things. They are
not that easy for me at the moment.
of abusing sex. I assume it was a Thai. I was not that hard.
Today I had some of such stimulation again. It was stressful
and reducing activity. I have been in bed for three days in
Surat and felt better afterwards. I thought My body is ready
again for some action. The same day stimulation of abuseve
This night I had this voices again that various sorts of
harassment would restart. They want to make me work for
them this seems to ge real. I had in Bangkok recognized
an American which was inside my mindcontrol. He said
he had been too weak to resist and worked for them.
The voices I hear also tell me that they have been forced
to do this and could not resist.
There is a silent holocaust going on. The worst criminals
on this planet are usual governments. Such stuff which
happens to me for such a long time would never be tolerated
by non government forces. They would be with this a non
government source of power.
The people who do this will further try to ger me working
for them by permanent abusing me but leaving me also time
Saturday, February 18, 2017
I woke up and noticed no strong pain or abuse.
Mostly but not always such announcements which told what later
should happen came true.
From the many painful stimulations I have an ongoing effect on my
body. I managed to meditate in the past a lot which countered much
of the effects. This I have not manage the last years. Often I just
could not think of it like it was with learning English.
I have to restart doing a lot of meditation. With it I can get my
strength back and sort out my mind. This I have to do first because I am
everything else than efficient in many things, burned out.
I have been passive often the last few years. Partly this came from many
years of stress and abuse and I could no more and did
no more want to take it. But did not find a way out and got depressed.
Today I noticed I am more free in my mind to go my way
and and noticed that I now can address this problem mentally
which I started and will have to do some time to be mentally better
prepared for future abuse. This means being less passive and being
active as far as I can and also want.
I could not write a police report about this stuff. I did not
manage and I blame me for this. Yes it appears weak.Yes I could tell
a lot why I did not manage to do it. I will later.
My depression which is not only the stuff I mentioned needs addressing
too. When I have my mental freedom I will try to address it with
mental work. The abuse is partly just shocking to me. In high stress
times the last few years mental work isn't much possible.
Voices which I think are not myown like lecturing me a lot about this
or that and disturbing talks during the day curb my thinking. Voices
are very disturbing for that.
I notice difficulty writing. I hope it is just once and not repeating in
Friday, February 17, 2017
I wood wake up in severe pain and probably not able
to travel. They would give me such pain repeatedly
until I would be willing to work for them.
The text is not exactly the same as it was. I can no
more remember it exactly as it was
Wednesday, February 08, 2017
Wednesday, February 01, 2017
FDA quietly bans powerful life-saving intravenous Vitamin C
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
harassment. Yesterday it was that strong that I was weak the
whole day. I then do not like much conversation then. This
I had often over many years. After strong harassment I do
not easily get together a smile or like to talk.
So relationships got difficult through this.
I have forgotten items several times the last days one item is
Friday, January 20, 2017
harrasment. But i have often pain in the area where the heart is. Sometimes the left arm is also tense. Only getting upset a little may make pain stronger. Exercises with arms increase pain so I stopped it until I know it is safe to do. Sometime ago I noticed that the many humiliations through the harassment are finally burdening my heart. In the last post I wrote that manpulation is less. It is less noticeable. I often cannot think of what I want to do and spend the day with other things. Going back to what I want functions for some time only after that I am again doing nothing or something else.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Since the last post I had no severe harassment.
I had twice stimulation of abusing sex but
these were different and not so devastating yet painful.
That it seems possible to adjust harassment levels
I noticed repeatedly.
Voices keep me from sleeping. Manipulation is less
but I can't get easily to old strength. This was
repeatedly the case for longer time that I no more can
Friday, January 06, 2017
Stimulation of abusing sex as usual.
The first two days it was stressing, the second also
exhausting but today the third day the exhaustion presses
considerably on my activity.
First unlike the days before I innerly resist activity just
would like to relax. When I try to read I repeatedly end
up doing that or find myself busy with my voices. These
are stronger when I have a lot. of stress. My allergy
is stronger now .I feel my body can't take what is
happening. When it goes on this may mean decline.
Over the week I forgot several times things but I
happily retrieved the items later.
One person is a suspect to have done the sexual
harassment. It is the person in room 11.
But I do not know how to finish the harassment.
Voices say harassment will go on. They will finish my
case now. Such sounds pretty American rather idiotically
American but actually I don't know really.
One thing I could do is to leave the Chinese influence
area may be anywhere to South America.
Chinese have been often enthusiastic about such abuse
and supporting harassment which leaves me no chance.
I think I am an Mind control victim but I have never
heard of anyone who got out of such.
This post contained several mistakes. I recognized most
of them in the draft corrected them repeatedly but in the draft
the mistakes were repeated after correction.