Yesterday and today during sleep I had stimulation of abusing sex
and very strong programming.
The stress causes me to be down the whole day. I would prefer just
 to do not much. Even walking becomes easily stress. Yesterday
I had programming to a gay. Today it was programming to like
Malays. Yesterday I was weak some hours, today the whole day.
Well, I don't like Malays that much which people may have noticed
the last days. though I like everywhere some people around.
Muslim is not my stuff and I am not interested to get closer.
And this terror,  to program me to like Malays does not contribute
to better feel feelings towards them, I am pissed
off by this.
But I do not know who did this terror to me and so I do not know
where to direct my anger to.

I had yesterday and today massive stimulation of abusing sex.
Today it was like this, that I stayed in bed for some time and
needed some time to recover. Thai massage helped with that.

The last post was about Thais in my environment. Some signs
tell me to do this better with complete privacy and not just
put it on a draft on my blog. That is the same as publishing
it.
I had today massive Stimulation of abusing sex. It changed
something in me.The stress brought me down.
I did not much today. Usually I have a plan, but I did not
follow it today.

I had today again stimulation of abusing sex and huge programming, the change in my mind was noticeable quickly when I woke up.

I stayed a few days again in Padang Bezar. I had hard stimulation
of abusing sex twice.
It cost me hours to recover from such. The last time I was there
I had hardly any stimulation of abusing sex.