sadistic sex which is programmed and stimulated
It brings me into a emotional mess. I was working
on this stuff was some steps away from such sex
and now get massive programming back into it.
I just was not far away from such yet.
This stimulation of abusing sex was announced
I had tried several times to write some stuff down
for a police report but then attacks got stronger
until I was confused and end up doing other things
or slide in a depression. I have the whole last time
voices that I should do something that some people
are behind me. But inside I have a resistance
built up against such. Programming?