Yesterday for the first time for a long time I could
meditate a lot.
Today it is more difficult to meditate again.
I know doing such a lot would then give me strength bodily and mentally and with it more freedom. I assume keeping me from meditating facilitates control over me and further I assume that Thais in my environment are involved.
I notice I now listen to voices and I fear I may react to orders and be used in anything.