I had today again strong stimulation of abusing sex.
I assume somebody of the place where I stay.
But at the moment I have my mind for myself.
That is quiete a lot. I have the hope that I get
back in track in some time.
What is disturbing are voices which are speaking
a lot. Then they are probably trying education.
I want to do it myself but it is already happening.
I got into trouble with somebody who insulted me
repeatedly. I then sat down alone for a while was
thinking but maybe also programmed.
The words I had  in my mind were similar of the
words the staff in the restaurant later said.
So are they trying to educate me here in Malaysia
The point is I do then not think for myself I just
take solutions and land up in a model from the top.
Thinking myself takes longer but solutions can be
more individual.

I had voices the last days. I woke up with abusing sex stimulated
every time. To a good degree it has to do with my allergy.
But probably not always. It is strange when once a complete
sex is stimulated in the same room hardly anything changed.
The influence voices and harassment have is meanwhile strong.
I do not manage to be that decisive and active I used to be also
because there is programming which keeps me away from it.

Two days ago  and yesterday I had stimulation of abusing sex but not that strong maybe related to my allergies. Today my first day in Malaysia I had very hard of such. It is that strong that it burns me out.

Today I was woken up by stimulation of gay sex.\
That brings me emotionally in trouble which I have
to deal with hopefully

The day before yesterday I had heavy stimulation
of abusing sex into sleep in the morning.
Today I had enthusiasm programmed related to
violence.
The enthusiasm is about the same related to abusing sex
while they program in my dreams

Today I had reprogramming of of sm sex.
This I had quite often already. It gets me into
trouble with me later. But my allergies may
have contributed to such. I do not know
how much.

Today I had reprogramming of of sm sex.
This I had quite often already. It gets me into
trouble with me later. But my allergies may
have contributed to such. I do not know
how much.

I had today seemingly not stimulation but something like
programming or reprogramming of abusive sex. It was painful and
stressful during the day.

Ich hatte nach der letzten Post wieder Stimulation von
missbraeuchlichem Sex und wieder danach mit Vergesslichkeit zu tun.
Danach hatte ich es ein paar Tage nicht und ich erholte mich ein wenig.
Es ging aber heute morgen wieder los und auch kraeftig.
Dies war auch gestern angekuendigt.
Diese Stimulation von  ist ein boeser Stress welcher mein Immunsystem
ueberfordert und mich sehr ausgelaugt hat. Es geht wohl darum
durch den Terror Beiinflussung, Kontrolle leichter zu machen und
aufrecht zu halten.
Die Rote Pest international (SPD, democrats) gibt sich in den Stimmen immer
wieder zu erkennen. Aber wer sagt denn das das stimmt.
Das ist das was die Schwachkoepfe ins Hirn faseln.

I had sexual harassment the last days. One day I spoke on the phone to
somebody and noted that I could not remember common words of my
native language. I started then listening to talks related to the threat
of alzheimer's.

The next day after I had this memory problems I did not have sexual
harassment like usual into sleep and wake up from it. Voices told me
that this stepping over me would contribute to the problem.
 I had starting from that day sexual harassment during the day just
 by overwhelming my consciousness with positive  feelings related to
 SM sex.
So approval to such sex was fiddled getting around of the first kind of
stepping over me. I could not do anything at first but getting
conscious about the unpleasant feelings about such inner resistance
build up. I did not manage to do that before.